“This self (your ego)… possesses some terrifying information. It knows that if it’s lucky, it’s destined to grow old, get sick, and lose everything that it’s grown to love. Then it will die. This is a shortened version of what the world has offered you, which probably leaves you mystified and flabbergasted at the absurdity of this thing we call life.
Into this bleak picture, which inspires fear and even terror, I’d like to introduce a concept that will eliminate the terror. I want you to know that you needn’t subscribe to the idea that you are only this collection of bones and tissues, destined to be annihilated in an aging process.
You’ve emerged from a universal field of Creation that I’ve been calling intention. Life itself is eternal, and you spring from this infinite no thing called life.” – The Power of Intention by Dr Wayne Dyer
Last week I took a step backwards on my road to recovery in a manner that completely caught me off guard – are there any other types? I was making a casual enquiry into flight prices with a travel agent I’ve used before. Instantly, from when I outlined my request, I heard the saleswoman switch-on in the girl who was supposed to help me. I suddenly felt pressured and panicked into buying her offer – “this is the last seat” – and connected that to my already negative feelings towards flying, in the end I thanked her for her help and said I wasn’t quite ready to commit to which she replied “you probably shouldn’t ring around agencies then”. I felt bullied and then my old friend victim-mentality showed up pawning for a scrap of sympathy: “I’m sorry”, I whimpered, “I’m a nervous flyer and I haven’t flown for a while”. At the sound of my own confession I felt myself insides crumbling, so making a timely phone exit I ran to the bathroom. Facing the weakness in me reflected back in the mirror I let out a guttural cry, made even more painful by the freshly applied mascara seeping into my eyeballs. I was a mess and more so because I was so convinced that I had made no progress.
Since then I have thrown myself into obsession seeing what I could do next to beat this thing called fear. What I’d like to do is pull it out of me and give it a good kicking, instead it looks like I’m going to have to talk it out. Violence unfortunately is not the answer.
So now I find myself knocking at EFT’s (Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping) door. Ever since I saw my mum, a nervous all-around traveller, putting it to practise and publicly humiliating me simultaneously, I have shunned any thoughts of EFT. For one it looks stupid. Secondly my mum told me to do it. Some maturation and a lot of desperation later, I have taken back my mocking comments, somewhat reluctantly, and joined the tapping sensation. EFT works in a similar way to acupuncture unblocking energy points in your body. It is easy to use as it works in deep conjunction with your emotional psyche as the source of resistance against your body’s positive energy; in other words it allows you to re-programme your interpretation of emotions and is directly tailored to the individual. With roughly 3 weeks to go before I am due to get on a plane I am surrendering myself to EFT and I have been surprised at the results. Fear is hard to measure; when someone asks you to rate on a scale from 1 – 10 the intensity of fear I often think “I’m either scared or not, right?”. Wrong. I know I’m still scared of flying but the level of panic that I can experience varies and I’ve began to notice that I can still breathe when I picture myself boarding a plane and sitting in a claustrophobic space in the company of a complete stranger who, with any luck, is wearing deodorant.
You begin by doing your Set Up on the Karate Chop which is the basic outline of your problem. As mine is directed towards fear of flying I would say: “Even though I have this fear of flying I deeply and completely accept myself”. You continue with the script as you tap along the different body parts. I have seen various techniques for this but the type I like is a progressive script that way it adapts to your resistant subconscious which is never too far away to remind you that you are scared and who are you kidding. Penny Waite’s Happiness Untapped website gives a good example of this, as it addresses my initial scepticism of EFT which was that how could a physical therapy be a match to my cognitive self-sabotage?
I haven’t quite mastered EFT yet but I will continue with it even if it puts me at risk of being that crazy girl on the plane who taps and talks to herself!
Three sites to help sift through mountains of literature on EFT:
- Emotional Freedom Technique: Achieving Trauma And Pain Relief (casapalmera.com)